from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
