My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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