O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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