Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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