you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
