He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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