Kareoke will never be a sober sport
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
