If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
