Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
