I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
