HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
