Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
