My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
my poor anus
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
