so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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