The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
