I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
