Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
