He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
