i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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