I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize