I can tuck mytits in my pants
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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