i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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