evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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