I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
