Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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