dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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