You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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