pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
