lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
