ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
