never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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