I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize