how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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