i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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