i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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