You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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