Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
