Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
