ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
