i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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