): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
