You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
