she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
