He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize