so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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