He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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