North Korea, Best Korea!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
