Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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