I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
