At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
