so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize