Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I stole a fireplace last night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
