I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
organizing the empties. That sober.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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