why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
