Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was born a porn star she said
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
