We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
