After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize