hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
