just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
