he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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