You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
