I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
