Fuck appropriateness.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
