Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
