Slut skills are useful in every country.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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